


Something Far Worse

by megupic



Series: ML Drabbles [3]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2019-09-12 11:19:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16871965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megupic/pseuds/megupic
Summary: headcanon where Emilie Agreste was the previous peacock user and her decision after the Tibet incident.





	Something Far Worse

_Choosing you was a mistake._

Master Fu’s words played on repeat through her head like a broken record.

_A mistake, a mistake, a mistake…_

She dug her blue, gloved fingers into the damp earth, fingernails screaming and threatening to break, but she didn’t care. What was a little botched manicure compared to  _this_?

She cast her eyes to Gabriel’s unconscious body, lying in the mud only meters from her. He wasn’t supposed to be involved with this. He was supposed to be at work, where he was safe and oblivious to everything around him. But no, he  _had_  to tag along, had to follow her… but then again she didn’t blame him. Constantly sneaking out at night, coming back looking disheveled, lying through her teeth…no, her secret would have gotten out eventually. What surprised her was how he reacted. He became _intrigued_. Damn that curiosity of his! He wanted to help her in any way he could, make sure she was safe even though  _she_  was the superhero! She’d caught him following her so many times trying to be sneaky, she now saw him everywhere. Even when he wasn’t there.

Oh how she wished he wasn’t there now, hurt and possibly worse because of her; because she’d gotten distracted and was weak. What would Adrien do if he lost both his parents tonight?

_Adrien._

Her baby, now all grown up at fourteen years old. It seemed too soon…only yesterday he was two and crawling all over the house, not a care in the world. And she’d missed most of it, all thanks to this accursed role of hers. Missed piano recitals, missed fencing practices, missed everything. If she could redo it all, she would. She’d tell the old man in the hawaiian print shirt to look for somebody else because her duty was to her family first and she couldn’t mother Paris while mothering a small child and being a devoted wife.

She’d just  _had_  to say yes to him. Then again, that was over ten years ago when she’d been full of adventure and big dreams and ambition, not to mention the huge hero complex she’d had. She’d felt so much so vibrantly, and she’d fed off being a superhero. She’d craved the danger and excitement, thirsted for the shouts of praise and adoration of the Paris’s citizens when they saw her, Paonne, Defender of Paris, fearless, aloof, beautiful.

She felt none of those things now. The Peacock Miraculous was unique in the fact that it intensified the emotions the user normally felt tenfold like love, thrill, and joy. It’d become addictive, so much so that she hadn’t wanted to go back to her normal, everyday life.

She chuckled humorlessly at herself. Maybe that was why Fu regretted giving her the peacock miraculous. She was too emotional, he had said, and Duusu only made things worse. She stopped thinking and acted purely on instinct, which apparently was dangerous.

Not that she’d cared.

And now because she’d been stupid and reckless, Gabriel was hurt, Adrien was alone, and here she was, the mighty Paonne, writhing in the dirt.

But at least she’d beaten back the Metamorphosis Cult, hopefully once and for all. So now what?

_Choosing you was a mistake._

Her eyes stung with hot tears and her vision blurred as Fu’s words echoed in her mind once again. Maybe she wasn’t the best Miraculous wielder to date, maybe she was too emotional, but at least she’d done her job, right? And that still hadn’t been enough for the old man! Didn’t he see what she’d had to sacrifice just to keep Paris safe?! Was anyone even grateful to her, or did they all just feel entitled to the hard-earned safety she provided for them?

Well fine, then. If that’s how Fu and the rest of Paris wanted it, so be it.

“Duusu, detransform me.”

The familiar wave of energy washed over her, ending in tiny Duusu landing limply in her hands, her tiny feathers splayed across her hands.

“Oh, that was so hard….” tears glittered at the edge’s of Duusu’s eyes.

“At least it’s over now. You won’t have to do anything like that ever again, Duusu. I promise.”

Duusu gazed up at her with wide, pink eyes. “What do you mean…?”

“I mean I’m done, Duusu.”

The kwami’s eyes grew even bigger, if that was even possible, and her sparkling tears started to flow freely now. “N-No…No you can’t give up—!”

“Fu himself said choosing me was a mistake— “

“He was just angry! You know he didn’t mean that!” Duusu protested, rushing up to float in front of her face. She snuggled against her cheek, coating her skin in glittery tears. “Y-y-you’re a wonderful h-hero! You’ve done s-s-so much good! Please— please don’t leave me!”

“I’ve already made up my mind, Duusu. If Fu doesn’t want me to be a hero, then I won’t. He’s the wise old master anyway, so he’s probably right. I’m done.” She reached up to unclip the peacock broach, eliciting a high-pitched gasp from Duusu.

“No wait don’t—!”

_Clip._

Then the kwami was gone, summoned back to her miraculous where she belonged. Sighing, she gazed down at the vibrant green and blue broach. She traced her fingertips across its glassy surface, now cool to the touch.

“I’m going to miss you, Duusu…”

She then stepped towards her fallen husband, each step with purpose. She bent and tucked the peacock miraculous underneath Gabriel’s hand, fingers lingering on his for a second too long.

“Take care of Duusu and Adrien for me.”

She placed one last kiss on top of his head, and then straightened and started walking. If Master Fu didn’t want her to be a superhero and believed she was a mistake, fine. She wouldn’t be a superhero anymore.


End file.
